Welcome To Scotland

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WELCOME TO SCOTLAND

You keep walking through the snow and cold.  A few fingers and toes fall from your body as they freeze and snap.

You pass a street sign "Welcome tae scootlund" it pleasantly announces.  Up ahead you see two roads- one clearly continues into the mountains and promises more snow and ice.  The other points to a small village.  The smell of deep-friers pleasantly acost your nose.  You're about to walk to the village when you hear a voice behind you; it's a leprechaun.

"Ah woods bide awa' frae th' village if Ah waur ye laddy. "

 Surprised you ask him "arn't leprechaun's Irish?"

"Yoo'd be surprised whit we hae in scootlund. stay awa' frae th' village ur yoo'll be decapitated by th' fairly-high  McLanders. thaur can be only a one. "

• Ignore the leprechaun and head to the village- if any more toes fall off from frostbite you'll be as useless as Titus Bramble in your next 5-aside football game.
• Heed the advice of the leprechaun.  Face the cold some more and continue up into the mountains.